plugin&play
You Don't Know me, You Don't Even Care望著你 突然一阵心痛 一次又一次任那感情放纵 你的脆弱 让我走不开 你的依赖 所以我存在 | ||||||||
And so it is, Just like you said it would be
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Saturday, February 23, 2008, 10:38:00 PM
A really weird weird feeling.
I woke up this morning, feeling kinda of blue - Its just the weird feeling of there being no reason to wake up, no real things that i wanna do. - Dragged myself out of bed anyway.. - And so i made it to school.. not feeling like shooting, so i just sat around fletching my arrows.. - And after lunch.. i just made my way home.. but didn't feel like going back so early.. so i went to bugis to take a stroll around.. - Went thru Kino.. the comics shop.. the electronics store.. the singtel shop.. the arcade.. in that order. didn't spend a single cent. haha i guess thats why they call window shopping. - then i got bored and headed home.. and made a detour to get a drink at the market.. ice milk tea as usual.. - When i to my house lobby, i just had this sudden urge to sit down at the bench and stone for awhile. And heres when i felt something was really wrong. lol. i was exceptionally emo today. and even sitting down and really thinking i can't figure out whats bothering me. ok that was strange. i usually could figure out whats bothering me. lol guess my aunt thought it was really weird that i was stoning at the lobby in the middle of a hot afternoon when she walked past. - Maybe its just a periodic case of male pms. haha. - It wasn't until i sat down in front of my comp later in the evening alone, with my parents out of home and everything was really quiet, that i felt really really really weird and everything inside. LOL. - And so here i am, rambling on, and just like 5 seconds ago, i suddenly thought to myself what the hell am i doing rambling on like this. lol. - Sometimes i really wonder if it's my handphone that has some problem or something, cause people havn't been replying to my message. haha. the funny thing was, i messaged myself to checked if there was something wrong with my phone or smth. - haha.. and so i end a perfectly repetative day of mine talking to myself in a blog. - I guess this blog doesn't really make sense. - lol. Wednesday, February 06, 2008, 2:25:00 AM
Honestly. I'm a wreck.
Honestly, I'm a wreck - Another sleepless night. i lost count of how many nights it has been since i was able to sleep well. free from doubts and thoughts. - I told myself a few days ago that when if i realise all days will be bad, i can just lower my expectations, and eventually things will become better.. same theory as being content with what i have.. - Well I'm really trying to just live life as it is.. but i've become so absent-minded and non-chalant on all work related things and basically just wasting my life away. - I'm just saying as a person. i'm just moving backwards. and bad things just keep happening to me just because my outlook on life is pretty bleak now.. been falling sick, losing stuff.. missing datelines.. neglecting work.. I've even lost the pleasure of playing games. - And as much as i want to express it out in words. i just can't come to terms what am i feeling now. i honestly don't know what the fuck i'm doing now. waking up. sleeping. waking up. sleeping. And all those nights that i've been drinking alcohol without telling anyone hasn't made it any better. Besides the fact that i always get flushed red and stuff haha. - I feel as if the world is judging me and putting me under scrutiny. That whatever i do is wrong and a mistake. All i wanted to do was to make things right. to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not feel pathetic and wrong. to have an ounce of dignity from knowing what i did was for the betterment of everyone elses life. - I've never meant to make anyone upset. for 23 years i've grown up in a family where i fear so much of making my dad upset that i've become so afraid of making anyone upset. Lol honestly. i just stare at the ceiling and just keeps wondering. what the hell am i doing? - and my condolences to daniel bro.. |
thedeceptionist
Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt.![]() Woei Perng Age:24+ D.O.B:03/09/1985 Horoscope:Virgo School:NUS Chemistry Email:wongwp21@hotmail.com What is my proof of existence? When i'm 50 i hope that my daily revelations written in this place will help me in summarising what kind of life i have lead. I've done things i wasn't proud of, Things that i may never be able to forgive myself, but in doing so i've learnt lessons of patience and emotional control, discovering what i had become and how far i have deviated. Change is never too late. |
partnersincrime
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+ Yearly Post 2013 - The Year of Feeling Unfinished + The Year which was Suppose to be the End. 2012. + -August Rush--Its been 8 months since i've blogged... + An Account of the year 2010 + A case of closing. + I've never felt so weary of waiting and holding on... + -Another Milestone- + By My Side. + The Wanderer and the Searcher. + Just when i thought that being single was awesome,... wheni'mgone
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An accidentality production Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D |
theventingmachine
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