To begin off, I first include the email in its unedited form. The email is a request for research volunteers that was sent thru the NUS webmail.

-----Original Message-----
From: SDE IEQ Project
Sent: Thu 10/30/2008 5:29 PM
Subject: Research volunteers required

NUS Students
Re. Research volunteers required
Dear Students
In regards to a research project in the area of room ventilation and its impacts on the Tropical population, we would like to solicit participation from NUS undergraduate students. This study focuses on the influences of bedroom air quality on various human responses.
Short-listed participants would be reimbursed for their time at $8.74 per hour (standard University rate). Each participant will be reimbursed for a minimum of twelve (12) and a maximum of twenty (20) hours. The project is envisaged to be conducted in early December 2008 (vacation period).

Participants will be asked to maintain a normal sleeping schedule at night for up to four weeks at home. Throughout the duration of study, participants will be provided a log-book to record their diet and sleep quality. Participants will be asked to complete a series of short survey and computerized tests. In addition, a saliva collection protocol will be administered on weekly basis. Indoor air quality measurements may also be conducted in selected homes (bedrooms) twice a week for about one hour.

If you are interested, please complete and return the attached Participation Checklist by email to bdgbox1@nus.edu.sg (or reply to this email) latest by Wednesday, 12th November 2008. The checklist will take about 10 minutes to complete. Please add your name initials to the completed file, e.g. for Mr. Tan Boon Leng, the file name will be: Participation Checklist_TBL. Short-listed applicants would be invited for a short interview through email or phone call.

Thank you for your attention and interest in this project.

Best regards
Dr Henry C Willem
School of Design and Environment
National University of Singapore

<<Participation checklist.doc>>

My analysis of the letter:

The letter in general is observed to be concrete, courteous, complete, clear, and concise. While the subject title of "Research volunteers required" could be better refined to include what is the research project for easier reading, the content of the email clearly explains what the research program is about, while explaining and listing out the facts and needs required in a positive and passive tone.

The email was also concrete, specifying in details the datelines, time span, and specific requirements that the research volunteer will have to do.

I felt that the email was crafted in a concise and clear manner, dividing the paragraphs efficiently into the introduction of the project, what the project requires volunteers to do, and clear instructions on how to apply for the interview.