Is it just me or people become incredibly unsmart when they're interacting with the opposite sex which they think are interesting? Well at least for me its kinda like a very obvious behavioral change, or would i say quirk. It's kinda almost amusing even when i think about it haha.

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i guess its the some mental effect, you can be really outspoken and witty when you're talking to your friends or peers in an informal atmosphere. THEN. when you have to do something really formal and your grades depends on it, the stress makes you stutter and choke on your own words. *looks at biomolecule presentation* sigh fml.

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Anyway i guess people need an autopilot button sometimes. so that we can prevent ourselves from trying too hard that we end up botching things.

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And about trying too hard. A recent conversation with a friend brought up the topic of our definition of trying.

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"Theres a fine line between putting in effort, and plainly trying too hard"

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And often people deviate too widely from the fine balance. Either trying so excessively hard that they become a nuisance, or because they do not dare to try, ending up missing out on possible doors to very different futures..

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and "tactful" was suppose to be one of my strengths. haha ohh well.. anyway guess i'll just end here kthanxbaiii

Some try to hand me money, but they don't understand. I not broke, I'm just a broken-hearted man.

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I screwed up big time this year havn't I, in most of the things that i've done, if not all the things i've done this year. I honestly, really, just want to find a fixed constant in my life amongst the torrential floods of troubles and worries in the sea of life.

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I replayed in my mind a thousand times if i could have done things a different way, a better way, that wouldn't have led me to what i'm feeling now.

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I managed to convince myself for the past 3 months that i'm doing fine, that i can really do this as an individual, as myself. but that was cause the exams were coming up. right now i find it hard to convince myself that things are actually really ok.

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Even if i really played out a fantasy i've built in my own dreams. even if it was a sand castle in the clouds i moulded myself in self-delusions. Even if i mistook every gesture you've done and confused myself between my desires and the constraints of reality.

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I really, really wished, that i had been more important in your life, as much as an impact you've left on mine. I really wished that i met you in a different way, a long time ago.