So, it took me an entire year to actually get the motivation to write a blog post. One. Full. Year. But hey, as they say, better late then never. Towards the end of each year, i felt a need to write down a blog or journal about the passings of the year. Perhaps too short in detail for events that occurred, but nonetheless serves as reminders for the future.

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Hope for the best, expect the worst. Life is a play, we're unrehearsed. A saying which i've coined more often then not when i was younger, yet practiced so little as of late. Year 2012 marked the continuity of my endeavors as a working adult, and pretty much my first plunge into overseas work. For the old me, whom abhor changes in life habits and adventures, The field work in india was a fairly large step that i've taken as an individual. I felt my contributions to the work there was fairly menial as much as I've tried to learn and immerse myself in picking up the knowledges of my trade, the displacement of usual habits and away from the ones i love was a far greater distraction to me then i have expected. The severe working conditions had too made me immensely doubtful at whether i was suitable for my job scope, but since voicing out my concerns things have taken a turn for the better as i refocus my work on more lab based projects. Oh well, with the impending merger, i guess taking things one step at a time would be a less stressful option, rather than worrying and fretting.

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Work? Work is never simple as that. I find it hard to motivate myself to strive to excel at work, being so easily contented with life as i am. I've often asked myself the past year where do i see myself at in the next 5 years, at my same job? Moving on to be a educator? I am as undecided on my future as i have been as a teen. Cindy oft chides me for still having the mindset of a adolescent, and sometimes in moments of self-realization I find it hard to disagree; that my non-chalant behavior is whilsting my younger days away when things could be tried and done. For now i do pray that epiphany will find me my life's calling in sooner days to come. 

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Life in general? I've taken more flights this year than i have ever taken in my waking years. And some proved to be greater adventures than others. Aberdeen and Amsterdam touring by myself was a pretty big adventure for me, walking about myself the whole day with only myself to worry about, surrounded by much to see and much to do. I don't think i've had so much inner dialogue so much before. I did realize that i have become very conscious of what others think of me of late. To an extent that i alter my mannerisms and personality to one that i believe is more acceptable. I appear to be viewed upon so differently by my various groups of friends, that i am almost insecure on how to change or maintain the views of myself. Well, realizing that i have a problem(?) would be the 1st step in resolving the problem i suppose. 

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Love? I have now but two loves in my life, Cindy, and the little life that she (without giving me ample warning) brought in ours. No not a baby duh, but our dog ebi. Since the early days in which she was still a pup, she's become quite the terror at home right now with her brash ways of interaction with people and possessive behavior haha. Pretty full grown now, she is but the focus of our devotion and love. I oft feel guilty that my dad has spent much time taking care of the dog while we date or come home late, but i am glad that my family has accepted her to be part of the family, and pampers her as much. 

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As the passion of our relationship transitions to one of security and familiarity, I've inevitably encountered problems with cindy and our behaviors and mindsets about life. Some were fundamental differences on how we want to lead our lives, and remains unresolved, but still love her as much, and want to spend my life with her beside me. I do have more flaws as a boyfriend that i imagine myself to have, but i believe that (or at least want to believe that?) i am improving myself as a person, to be in a better position to care for her, that she may trust that i can provide for her till the end of days. 

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So, this year, i've been to parts of the worlds i wouldn't have dreamt of seeing, Rajasthan, Ravva, Aberdeen, Amsterdam, Delden, Mumbai, Bangkok, Taipei, Rawa (again). I wonder what trials and tribulations awaits me in 2013, in overcrowded and increasing selfish world, I wish to remain righteous and just in my actions, to take less, and give more, to provide for my family and for Cindy. Towards an increasing tumultuous new world we go, in 2013.